So I have been sitting here for almost an hour trying to decide what to write about tonight. I have so many things going through my mind tonight and my emotions have been all over the place today. I want to go back to something I posted Friday night, I believe. It was inspired by some things I had read about adoption over the past week or so. It was a summation of my thoughts really on adoption, my family, and what I feel has been my calling.
"Our children are not ours because they share our genes, or because a piece of paper says they are. They are ours because they are a part of our soul. It was not an accident that they came into our lives. It was God's design that led them home. It was Him who placed them in our soul even before they were born."
I have really been thinking about this a lot lately, with our impending adoption, and my two brother-in-laws and their families impending adoptions. These words describe exactly how I feel about my kids. I don't think of any of my kids any differently based on how they came to be my children. God brought them to me in His way, in His time. I love them all the same, they are my children. My wife and I have been called to be foster parents and we have loved the experience. We have had a lot of ups and downs but the experiences have been very rewarding. We have fostered 14 children since 2007, adopting 2 of those 14 so far, and if all things continue as they should we will be adopting the 2 we have now. This has led to many questions about whether we are done with foster care if the adoption does go through. Though we have never specifically sat down and discussed it to the point of saying yes or no I think in our minds we have. We have said it many times that yes we are done. Our license is good till August of 2014, so we basically have until then to change our mind. I am sure that we will ultimately have that discussion and decide if it is over or not. Personally, because I don't want to speak for Nicole, at this point I am done. We have been blessed with 14 of God's creations spending time in our home, and 4 of those will be with us forever. The other 10 will also be a part of our lives forever. Though we didn't have the best of relationships with some of them we still love them. They all have a special place in our hearts. But I am tired. I am tired of the system and it's hypocrisy. Our system is broke and it needs fixed. This has weighed on my mind for some time now. So I believe that it is time for us to be done with foster care, at least for some time, and just be a family with our 6 beautiful children. I think this will be a welcomed change for all of us.
Speaking of children, my oldest just asked me what I was doing and when I told her she asked why. I told her I am telling my story. I asked her if she had read them. I know she sees them through my Facebook posts. She said no, they are too long. So I told her I was going to have to start writing more about her in my blog posts since she wasn't going to be reading them. So I am going to start by telling all of my readers that she is a pretty good daughter. She does a lot to help out around the house and with the younger kids. I am very proud of the young woman that she is becoming. But, if she is reading this, Taylor, this is a warning, I can and will post things about you if I want. Including, but not limited to moments I am proud of you, mad at you, disappointed in you, happy with you, and especially moments that embarrass you. Love you Munch.